…undoing the culture of silence…

What Happens When Silence Speaks?

The ‘culture of silence’ is one that has plagued us for the longest time, and I speak so from being an African, a Woman, and also as a Christian.

But, not anymore! And that is what LoudSilences is all about. This platform is for people who have experienced, sexual abuse, are on a mental health journey and for teens who are struggling. This platform is to let you know that you are NOT alone, and there are people who can walk this journey with you.

On here, we will be building pool of resources and create support groups to lift one another out of the ashes of the burns endured from life’s fires. No matter what it happened, how, with and through whom all that matters is that we rise above it!

When silence speaks, we find our voices, stand up for one another and work at making sure there is no ‘next victim’. You and I give the voice to silence! Join me to embark on this joinery together, and undo the culture of silence.

Who Am I?

My name is Ann Adefuye (some of my aliases are Ann Young-Itiye, Anita Young, Anita Adefuye, pick one, I don’t care)

Before I tell you who I am, why don’t I share who I was? Get to know me better.

I was the abused child too scared to tell anyone.

I was the child who felt the pain of abandonment by my mom (or so I was told).

I was the child who was beaten until I was bruised, cried myself to sleep, wondering why I was not like the other kids with parents.

I was the teenager who was repeatedly abused sexually even by those who should have protected me, and having no one to talk to. When I tried to voice out, I was silenced by the culture, family, friends and sadly even the church (PS, I am still a christian).

I was that teenager parents would advise their kids to emulate, yet I wanted so bad to be like their kids. Because while I was so put together on the outside, I cried daily and felt dead on the inside. Unable to keep up with all the expectations, I started acting out.

I was the teenager and young adult who became addicted to porn, sex, and drinking. Making series of one bad decision after another, had my fill and tried to end my end my life- yes, suicide! And I was suicidal for the longest time.

I was the young adult who did not want to get married because I was scared, worried no one would want me, and boy did I struggle with self-esteem?

I was the adult who got married and lashed out at my husband, scared to death about being a mom and sometimes secretly paranoid. Often worried about raising my kids right.

I was the christian who was often judged, misunderstood and treated like a plague when people heard just a bit of my life or story. Almost like they don’t trust the blood of Jesus to wash away my sin and past.

I was someone who questioned ‘why me’ a lot, buried myself in my academics, work, in hopes of having some sense of being valuable. I was constantly ashamed of myself, who I was, my story, my life. I struggled with forgiveness for myself and others, and yes towards God. I always had to do more, be more. I was afraid to speak with each experience adding on, until I completely lost my voice.

Understand me tad bit now? I was a lot of things, but back to the real question, who am I- NOW?

I am a child loved by God. I am/was a Teens Church teacher (to all the parents who questioned, this is part of my WHY, if they would still have me). I am empowered, enlightened, I am forgiven!

I am not perfect, but I am making progressing. I am healed and this is part of my wholeness journey. I choose to share this story with you, because I finally discovered who I am, and with it, my voice! Yes I ‘Turned it Up”

So I am asking you again, to join me so we can undo this culture of silence that held us bound because for each of us who find our voice, how many more will?

Who am I? I am God’s child, I am a wife, I am a mom, I am Anita Adefuye (and yes, that is my preference, LOL). Welcome to LoudSilences!