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WHY A CHILD MAY STAY SILENT ABOUT SEXUAL ABUSE
There are many things children tell and want to tell. However, what their young brain finds hard to comprehend is when an unusual thing happens to them and they have have no idea what to do. Of course, while their first instinct is to report to their parents or a guardian or an adult they…
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Preventing Child Sexual Abuse: 6 Proactive Steps
Let’s address something for this week’s blog: child sexual abuse and ways in preventing it. I think, sometimes, we forget or choose to forget children struggle with situations that are bigger than them. Child Sexual Abuse being one of the struggles. Did you know? The experiences a person goes through at a young age tend…
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Suicidal Loved One: How You Can Help
September 10, 2023 is World Suicide Prevention Day, and the theme is “Creating Hope Through Action.” So, we will be talking about supporting a loved one with suicidal thoughts or tendencies. Suicide is a major worldwide health problem, with 703,000 people attempting it every year. Many individuals, including our loved ones, face difficulties that may…
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Social Media and the Bystander Effect: The Silent Spectators
As we know, social media is and will always be a topic for debate with the many arising advantages and disadvantages. You can find any thing of social media. When you think you’ve seen it all, there are more to surprise you. And here is a shocker for you, the bystander effect also extends onto…
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The Bystander Effect: Why Don’t We Help When We Should?
Social psychologists have conducted extensive research on the Bystander Effect, which is a well-known phenomenon. This phenomenon refers to the tendency of people to remain passive and not help others in need when they are in the presence of others. The more people there are, the less likely any one of them is to take…
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The role of parents in navigating relationship with estranged children
The role of parents in navigating relationship with estranged children is one not often talked about. Why? Culture! Our culture says the elder is never wrong, right? Wrong! Let me share a story with you. AN IMPACTUFL EVENT OF MY LIFE Everyone was seated around the living room. My heart was pounding and my palms…
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How to Navigate ‘Difficult’ Parental Relationship
In our last blogpost we talked about why people cut off their parents- we stated 5 reasons. Today, we talk to children on how to navigate relationship with ‘difficult’ parents so it does not lead to estrangement. Whether you are considering cutting off your parents or might have already, this is for you. Truth be…
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Why Can’t I Cut Off My Parents?!
“I am blocking my mother and no one can tell my not to”. “Why can’t I cut off my parents?” Cutting off parents is something that seems to be prevalent in today’s world. At the head of this table, are millennials and Gen-Zs. Try intervening and they fire back with questions like “why can’t I…
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Boys and Menstruation: Do They Need to Know?
Do boys need to know about the menstrual cycle? The short answer is yes. Let’s start with an explanation of the menstrual cycle. A quick explanation of the menstrual cycle The menstrual cycle is a natural process that happens to every born female. It is a process that prepares the female’s body for the possibility…
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Dear Anita – My Friend Was Raped to Death Because of Sanitary Pads
Dear Anita, My Friend Was Raped to Death Because of Sanitary Pads. How much does sanitary pads cost?! A rhetorical question. Whatever the cost, is it really worth a life? My friend- a beloved friend, she comes from a family where the parents could barely afford their basic needs. Hence, they paid less attention and…
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BLOG HIGHLIGHTS FROM MAY 2023
Guys, May is done. Today is the last day of May! I know, how can it be? Hard to believe, but here we are. So, we have some blog highlights for you! This month of May is (or was) Mental Health Awareness Month. And, we discussed some interesting topics pertaining to mental health. As it…
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The Man Who Couldn’t Ask for Help
It’s another day. Another day Tunde feels empty and wasteless. How can I ask for help? I want to ask for help, but I know that I can’t do that. I’m a man. I shouldn’t feel all these useless emotions. What will my parents think of me? What will the world think of me? In…
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Is the boy child at risk? Nurturing the 21st Century Boy Child
Is the boy child at risk? Have you ever wondered (like me), what nurturing the 21st century boy child means for the boy child and the kind of parenting style to support that? Yesterday was international day of the boy child and while we really should have these conversations everyday, let us hone in a…
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HOW TO TALK TO YOUR TEEN ABOUT THEIR MENTAL HEALTH
Parents and guardians, how do you talk to your teen about their mental health? Better question is do you talk to them about their mental health? Below is a story about how Wuraola has been having trouble dealing with her mental health. So, she decides to seek comfort from her parents. “Mom and Dad, I…
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WHY WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, so let’s talk about mental health. “Mental health is defined as a person’s state of being concerning psychological and emotional well-being.” What makes your mental health so important is that it can affect all other aspects of your life. It impacts how you perceive situations and how you act…
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BLOG HIGHLIGHTS FROM APRIL 2023
Did you know that April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month? So, here are some blog highlights for you! This month, we discussed some interesting topics pertaining to sexual assault. Although you may or may have not experienced it, sexual assault is a menace that concerns everyone one of us. Sexual assault not only devastates the…
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STRANGER DANGER: UNDERSTANDING THE REALITY
As children, we were often taught to be wary of strangers. We were taught to avoid talking to them, accepting gifts or rides from them, and to seek help from trusted adults if we ever felt unsafe. But how much of the “stranger danger” concept is actually based on reality? […]
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DOES HAVING SEX COME WITH CONSEQUENCES?
Believing Sex Comes Without Consequences – Excerpt from Guys are Waffles, Girls are Spaghetti Below is an excerpt from a book I read with teenagers a while back- “Guys are Waffles, Girls are Spaghetti”. The chapter highlights how young people act when they believe sex comes without consequences, this excerpt focuses on the girls. If…
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Dear Anita…I was almost Raped by my Parish Priest
I was picked as the leader of a group in my church ( parish level) called HCA Holy Childhood Association. All leaders from different parishes meet once a month. So he( the priest ) who is mobile, would pick some of us who can’t afford transportation to the venue. That’s how I got to know…
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THE SIGNIFICANCE OF CAUTION IN SOCIAL MEDIA
Lately, I’ve been scrolling through Instagram excessively. I realized that I’ve been using it as a distraction, but unfortunately, this habit has led to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction. I found myself constantly comparing my life to the ‘seemingly perfect’ lives of influencers. Just like I put myself under undue pressure over the […]
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CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY: HOW I MOVED ON FROM TRAUMA
Key Word – CHOOSE to be happy. Many people think that trauma marks you for life. Well, sorry but trauma does not mean your life ends and all hope is lost. This was what I realized and knew I would choose to be happy and move on from all my traumatic experiences. For those who…
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BUILDING WORK-LIFE BALANCE: A QUICK GUIDE
I was very excited when I got my first freelance client, and boy, I couldn’t wait to start taking on bigger clients. The clients didn’t come in droves like I had wished they would, but as I started to take on […]
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DOES GOD HATE WOMEN?
Does God HATE Women? That was a thought I honestly had walking away from a conversation I had years back. “How can you be so intelligent and say you believe in the ‘Christian God?’ said this random guy who had approached me to preach gnosticism to me. “Any of the Abrahamic religions marginalizes women”- he…
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ARE YOUR PARENTS AFFECTING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM?
If you are wondering how your parents could be affecting your self-esteem, you are in for a ride. Stay with us. Growing up, I was the socially awkward type who avoided public attention. Despite this, I was even more awkward and uncomfortable with my parents. I’d rather be embarrassed publicly than be embarrassed in front…
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THE MANY FACES OF BULLYING – BREAK THE CHAIN
When we think about bullying, we only think of kids on a playground. But if I told you the chain of bullying is longer than kids on a playground? Yes, there are many faces of bullying and the story of Jade and Tony, gives us insight into how far back that chain can go, or…
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WHY DO PEOPLE PRACTICE FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION (FGM)?
Did you know that February 6th was the International Day of Zero Tolerance to Female Genital Mutilation? If you’re wondering why do people would practice Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) in the first place, you are not alone. I mean what kind of people practice it anyways? Sadly, Female Genital Mutilation is still a thing. The…
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Dear Anita….I was raped on Valentine’s Day
Dear Anita, I was raped on Valentine’s day and it hurts! A day that was supposed to be about love quickly turned to hate for me. I hate him! And I hate myself! How do I live with this? This is the story of a survivor. It holds a lot of lesson and insights (summarized…
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HOW MANY PEOPLE UNKNOWINGLY FALL INTO PORNOGRAPHY AND MASTURBATION
What if I told you that you could be into pornography and masturbation without realizing it? I know that sounds crazy!, but stay with me on this true story. It reminds me of how many people unknowingly fall into pornography and masturbation. Read and search yourself! In my penultimate year in high school, or secondary…
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WHAT TO DO IF YOU FIND OUT YOUR CHILD IS ENGAGED IN PORNOGRAPHY AND MASTURBATION!
Did I hear you say God forbid! I say AMEN! But sadly, some kids are unfortunately trapped in porn and masturbation. Many of them are crying out to us for help. Maybe they came out to you on their own or perhaps you caught them in the act. What then do you do? I know…
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Welcome to 2023- Why LoudSilences?
Welcome to 2023! I hope you are off to a great start of the new year. In loudsilences.org, we are excited. On February 18, 2023, LoudSilences is going to be THREE years old! Yes, you heard that right. The very first post went out on this day in 2020- Welcome to LoudSilences- Turn it Up!…
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You Are An Orphan And So What?!
Anita, you are an orphan, so what?! Believe it or not, it was a question I asked myself one day while I was feeling sorry for myself. Boy in those days, I threw the best pity parties for myself. And I would excuse all my bad behaviours on this ground- I am an orphan. Until…
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Dear Anita…..
Dear Anita, My heart is heavy. I know I need to talk to someone but unsure who. God is the obvious answer and prayer is the key, true! But the truth is, I cannot talk to God because I feel so dirty and disgusted with myself. How could I still be bound in pornography and…
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Have You Heard About The Mirabal Sisters?
Have you heard about the Mirabal Sisters? If you have, great! Not? Well, today you will hear about them. Let’s try this! Ever heard of “International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women”? Again, great if you have. And if not, again, you will hear about them. Well, what does the Mirabal sisters and…
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HOW TO SUPPORT SUICIDE LOSS SURVIVORS
It is very important we share with you, how to support suicide loss survivors. Who is a suicide loss survivor? But first, quick share from Anita! I used to be suicidal, VERY suicidal. One of my first write-ups on loudsilences was on ‘the day I died’. After I made the switch from depression and suicide…
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ISSUES MEN FACE THAT THEY DON’T TALK ABOUT
There are lots of issues men face that they don’t talk about, and it all starts with this- “Be a man.”! But what exactly does it mean to be a man? Society has set standards for how men should behave and respond in certain situations. Many of these standards are based on misguided arguments about…
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Undoing the Culture of Silence: Organizations at Work- TGIF
When it comes to undoing the culture of silence, there are organizations making great strides, and The Goodness Impact Foundation (TGIF) is one of them. In this blog, we decided to put a spotlight on organizations that have shown commitment to issues around gender-based violence, mental health, women and youth empowerment. The purpose is to…
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THE 4-STEP PROCESS FOR HEALING FROM SEXUAL ABUSE TRAUMA
Are you confused about how you can heal from the trauma of a sexual abuse experience? If I had to pick THE 4-step process for healing from sexual abuse trauma, from among many others, these would be IT. Healing from sexual abuse and assault trauma can be painful and take a lot of time. But…
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THE MAIN CAUSE OF SEXUAL VICES & MISBEHAVIOURS
Ever wondered what the main cause of sexual vices and misbehaviours are? Sit tight, I’m about to share with you my true life experience. When I was a kid, there was a popular TV drama I loved watching; Super Story. It was a family TV drama that most Nigerian families looked forward to on Thursday…
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DANGERS OF DEALING WITH SEXUAL ABUSE TRAUMA IN SILENCE
IT’S no secret that sexual abuse usually causes trauma in its victims. And there are dangers in dealing with sexual abuse trauma in silence and alone. Sexual abuse victims have to deal with painful, and sometimes, conflicted feelings during and after the abuse. At a point like this, they need help from a family member, a…
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MY FAMILY’S BEST KEPT SECRET
Every family has secrets. I am sure many would agree with me. But would you share yours with me? Some say I spilled my family’s best secret in my new book. But did I? “Seriously, Anita, how can I have a husband who is ‘touching’ my child and I would say or do nothing about…
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“Why Now?” Answering the Question of Why Sexual Violence Survivors ‘Stay Silent’
As I resume writing again on loudislences.org, I was thinking about what people might feel about my ‘silence’ for the last couple months on this platform. While this was due to some life-evalution I was undertaking, I could not help but feel like I owed my readers an explanation. But it was not the first…
