Dear Anita – My Friend Was Raped to Death Because of Sanitary Pads

Dear Anita, My Friend Was Raped to Death Because of Sanitary Pads.

How much does sanitary pads cost?! A rhetorical question. Whatever the cost, is it really worth a life?

My friend- a beloved friend, she comes from a family where the parents could barely afford their basic needs. Hence, they paid less attention and affection to her menstrual hygiene management.

We all supported and helped in ways that we could, but there were the one off days. Such days, there was a guy who lived close to them and he stepped in. At first, we all thought he was an amazing person. Until….

….one day, she went to get help from him as usual. On this fateful day, no one knows what really happened. We could infer from the injuries she sustained.

This guy had repeatedly raped her, so much so, Anita, her bladder gave out. What kind of human does that to a young girl? To say that it hurts is an understatement. When I say he helped, Dear Anita, he literally bought her pads 3 times! How is that enough reason to rape anyone?

The death of my friend was an eye opener, to how many girls are vulnerable to preying men. The link between poverty and gender-based violence is undeniable. Poverty acts as both a cause and a consequence.


Sadly, poverty limits economic opportunities, leaving individuals, particularly women/girls, financially dependent on their abusers.

According to the United Nations, women and girls living in poverty are more likely to experience gender-based violence, with rates estimated to be as high as 70% in some countries.

Like in this case of the poor girl in this story, poverty drives girls to the hands of their preys. Thankfully, the sharer of this story, whose friend this happened to has taken it upon herself to do something about this.


Nicholasmotivate Initiative is a registered non profit organization in Nigeria with a core campaign project “GIVE OUT A PAD, SAVE A GIRL CHILD”.

This is targeted at the reproductive health care of the vulnerable, victimized and disadvantaged girls, women, female inmates and female genders with disabilities.

Their passion is to drive towards ending period poverty, menstrual shame and menstrual taboos spread across rural communities, prisons, schools, IDP camps and shelters.

my friend

The work of Nicholas Motivates is such an inspiring one, we at LoudSilences wanted to highlight it. We often talk about the numerous ways you can be a part of ending sexual violence, this is yet another opportunity.

“Give a pad, save a girl child”. A pad is about 400 Naira ($1). You could literally save a girl’s life by donating $1. The girl in the story died for $3, and that could have been avoided.

my friend

Anita Adefuye, the author, shares her story of sexual abuse, low mental health, suicide, and how she overcame them all. Today, she is the founder of LoudSilences and more.

Her book, Reve-Healed – A true story of pain, healing, and hope, is available for purchase. Get yourself a copy today!

Undo the culture of silences with us, so many can be aware and learn. Share your stories with us below.

    There are many things children tell and want to tell. However, what their young brain finds hard to comprehend is when an unusual thing happens to them and they have have no idea what to do. Of course, while their first instinct is to report to their parents or a guardian or an adult they … Read more
  • Preventing Child Sexual Abuse: 6 Proactive Steps
    Let’s address something for this week’s blog: child sexual abuse and ways in preventing it. I think, sometimes, we forget or choose to forget children struggle with situations that are bigger than them. Child Sexual Abuse being one of the struggles. Did you know? The experiences a person goes through at a young age tend … Read more
  • Suicidal Loved One: How You Can Help
    September 10, 2023 is World Suicide Prevention Day, and the theme is “Creating Hope Through Action.” So, we will be talking about supporting a loved one with suicidal thoughts or tendencies. Suicide is a major worldwide health problem, with 703,000 people attempting it every year. Many individuals, including our loved ones, face difficulties that may … Read more
  • Social Media and the Bystander Effect: The Silent Spectators
    As we know, social media is and will always be a topic for debate with the many arising advantages and disadvantages. You can find any thing of social media. When you think you’ve seen it all, there are more to surprise you. And here is a shocker for you, the bystander effect also extends onto … Read more
  • The Bystander Effect: Why Don’t We Help When We Should?
    Social psychologists have conducted extensive research on the Bystander Effect, which is a well-known phenomenon. This phenomenon refers to the tendency of people to remain passive and not help others in need when they are in the presence of others. The more people there are, the less likely any one of them is to take … Read more
  • The role of parents in navigating relationship with estranged children
    The role of parents in navigating relationship with estranged children is one not often talked about. Why? Culture! Our culture says the elder is never wrong, right? Wrong! Let me share a story with you. AN IMPACTUFL EVENT OF MY LIFE Everyone was seated around the living room. My heart was pounding and my palms … Read more


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: