I was picked as the leader of a group in my church ( parish level) called HCA Holy Childhood Association. All leaders from different parishes meet once a month.
So he( the priest ) who is mobile, would pick some of us who can’t afford transportation to the venue. That’s how I got to know him. I used to give him reports concerning my parish.
I started talking to him about some bad spiritual experiences I was having and he asked me to see him privately for prayers. My dear sister, the first day, we talked, he prayed for me and asked me to come back.
The next time, he picked a different place in the parish house not the chapel anymore. Innocently I went he didn’t pray for up to 5mins when he asked me to take off my clothes?????!!! For what I asked he said for the prayers of course.
Before I knew it he grabbed my dress. Omo I went on my knees started pleading o. He said I shouldn’t be scared. I said I can’t and I won’t because I was a virgin at the time.
I didn’t know what to do. He grabbed me so close I could feel his manhood. I begged for my life and my future.
At first he didn’t let go because he thought I was lying but later he apologised and said something came over him. Babe that’s my first and last time. I have never gone to a priest or anyone for counselling.
That was an attempted rape! I stayed with that shock for a number of years in my life.
KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS STORY
anyone can be a perpetrator, anyone can be a victim
People who tend to perpetrate sexual violone are by people we often know and trust as you can see in this case. While we do not want anyone paranoid, we do recommend approach everyone with caution.
caution to spiritual leaders- don’t say it was the devil- be guided!
Spiritual leaders have something to learn here when picking meeting points and times for counselling- pick a public/private space. Private enough to be out of earshot, but public enough folks can see you. This protects you as well as the other person.
AN ATTEMPT CAN JUST BE AS TRAUMATIZING
Even an attempt is more than enough to traumatize a person. While there is something to be said about the relief of “I finally got away”, the stress to the mind and body from the attempt and the feeling of helplessness still leaves a strong negative impact in a person. Plus it could make most people paranoid
everyone opens up in their own time
It took years and this was the first time this person is sharing her story. When we chatted with this person, she said she felt lighter sharing the story. Thank you so much for trusting us with your story.
there is power in your story
The reason ‘Dear Anita’ exists is because of the people who have been opening up since I share my story in my book- Reve-Healed. I can imagine how many more people would open up just reading this and helping someone else see that they are not alone. So if you would like to share with us, use the form below to submit your story or send it to our DM on Instagram.
We would love to hear what your thoughts are on your key learnings and takeaway from this story. How does this help you think/behave differently? Tell us in the comments below.